There’s been a theme amongst some coaching clients lately that I consider myself an expert on.
Serving out of fear versus love.
You see, I used to be that person who served more out of fear than love. I would end up helping and supporting others in order to be liked, appreciated and/or needed.
I served to feel good about myself. To feel as though I mattered.
Inside, I knew there was little lasting peace and joy when I did this. In fact, I often felt resentment growing in me when I didn’t get the response for my help the way I expected or needed it.
On the other hand, during the times I served from love, the feeling and experience was completely different. The peace and joy was imminent and lasting. There was nothing I needed or expected in return. It was just love flowing through me and in that energy, more times than not, love came back.
My cup wasn’t just full it was overflowing!
So Much Frustration
I became frustrated and confused that I couldn’t serve from that place of love all the time. I didn’t want to be the person who was needing something in return in order to feel worthy and valued in the world.
I didn’t want to be the person who said yes when a no was screaming inside.
And yet I was.
It felt like an ongoing internal war.
A Truth Revealed
Fortunately, that changed many years ago after my hand analysis reading revealed that my Soul’s agenda was the Life Path of Service and Life Lessons were of low self-worth and feeling incomplete!
Talk about a non-winning trifecta!
Or so I thought.
The information rang so true to me that it was the kick in the butt I needed to get in alignment with my Soul’s desire and exalting my life lessons. This put me on my journey of moving away from living in servitude toward living in service.
The difference being – servitude operates from fear. Doing from obligation, sacrificing oneself and all that I mentioned above that shined a light on my life lessons.
On the other end of the spectrum is True service – representing the love that wants to flow through. Service that is there for another because the heart and soul are drawn to the desire to serve unconditionally. Not needing anything in return. Not needing a certain outcome. Not needing to control. Empowering both the giver and receiver.
Patterns of Servitude
I’ve learned that in the act of servitude there are patterns that show up again and again.
Feeling more depleted than energized.
Over giving while struggling to receive.
Having more people who take from you than give back.
Serving because of unhealed past wounds that is reflected as servitude to another.
Fear of being abandoned.
Fear of being talked about negatively.
The list can go on. Which ones you find yourself relating to will depend on your life experiences.
From Servitude to Service
The first step is to acknowledge what’s true for you on that list and anything else you come up with. The second step is to love and forgive yourself knowing you couldn’t have done it any differently or you would have.
Once the self-love and awareness is there, then it’s about taking baby steps to make the changes you want to make.
Yes, it takes time. As does any significant inner change that is going to last.
Yes, it takes courage. Some people in your life may fall away and that’s always a bit scary. But you come to realize they were there to help you break the patterns that no longer served you! Others will show up, filling the void who are now aligned with your loving service and want to be more of that for you.
And yes, it requires trusting that the Universe is waiting patiently to lovingly serve you as you move out of serving from fear into serving from love.
